UFOpaedia - User contributions [en]

Murphy's Laws (X-COM)

2013-06-25T21:43:52Z

Macdjord:

==[[Battlescape|Battlescape (UFO Defense)]]==
===[[Soldiers]]===
*If a soldier can miss, he will.
*If a soldier can panic, he will.
**If he is holding a primed [[Proximity Grenade]], he will drop it and start running.
**If he is holding any other primed explosive, he will drop it and stay right there.
**If he is holding something else, he will drop it and run right next to an alien.
*The probability of a soldier getting MCed is proportional to the lethality of the weapons he is carrying.
*The probability of a soldier going berserk is proportional to the number of friendly units he can hit from where he's standing.
*Your troops invariably display better accuracy and reactions when mind controlled than they do under your own orders.
**The opposite is true when you mind control an alien.
*The soldier you gave your shiny new heavy weapon to will turn out to have shitty Psi Strength and/or Morale. You will discover this the hard way.
*If a soldier has a [[Rocket Launcher]], he will get MCed while still in the craft.
*Your first unit out is always shot down.
**Your first unit out is always your commander.
*A wounded soldier will always die just before you find the last alien.
*As soon as you get better armor, the aliens get better weapons.
*[[Electroflare|Flares]] will always land where they cannot be picked up.
*If your base is attacked, you will always get [[Electroflare|flares]] instead of [[Heavy Plasma|Heavy Plasmas]].
*You will always end up short 1 TU for the action you wanted to do.
*If there is a single square where an alien grenade can hit all your soldiers at once, that is the square it will land in.
*The soldiers with the worst stats will always be the first to get promoted.
**When you build the [[Psi Lab]], you will always discover that your highly-trained officers are psi weaklings.
*On [[Ethereal]] [[Terror_Mission|Terror Missions]], you will always get the maximum number of [[Sectopod|Sectopods]] possible.
*When you have finally perfected the art of UFO assaults - [[Initial_Deployment|safe initial deployment]], proper [[Scouting|scout]] and [[Sweeping_the_Battlescape|sweep]] tactics, [[UFO_Ground_Assault#Breaching_UFOs|correct breaching methods]] - that will be the mission an enemy commander shows up with a [[Blaster_Launcher|Blaster Launcher]] and nukes your entire team while it's still on the [[Skyranger]]

===[[Civilian|Civilians]]===
*If a civilian sees a fire, he will run into it.
*If a civilian sees an alien, he will move right next to it.
*If a civilian can block your line of fire on an alien, he will do so.
*Civilians are attracted by armed proximity grenades.
*Civilians inevitably block the doorway you need to use right before you get there.
*If a civilian is near an alien, any attempt to save him by shooting the alien will hit the civilian instead.

===[[Alien Life Forms|Aliens]]===
*If an alien can hit, it will.
*If an alien tries to MC you, it will always succeed.
*Alien commanders will always kill themselves (with their [[Blaster_Launcher|Blaster Launchers]]) when you're on track to capture them .
*If there are [[Chryssalid|Chryssalids]], you will get at least one zombified soldier.
**You never want to know the answer to "Why did the Chryssalid cross the road?".
*If a dieing [[Cyberdisc]] can blow up one of your men, it will.
*Unconscious aliens with melee attacks will wake up when you least expect them to.
*If you open a door and turn left, the aliens will all be on the right.
*Aliens are smarter than they look.

==[[Geoscape|Geoscape (UFO Defense)]]==
*When you need money the most, your funders will sign treaties with the aliens.
**The first country to drop funding is always the one that gave the most money.
*As soon as you get a new base built, it will be attacked.
**As soon as you get a new base fully equipped and operational, UFO activity in that area will drop to zero.
*If your fully developed base with 12 [[Missile_Defences|Missile Defences]] is successfully weathering a [[Alien_Retaliation|retaliation mission]] every couple days, the 1-in-30 battleship that makes it through will inevitably do so when all your experienced soldiers are out on missions.
*The more money you've saved, the higher the chance the aliens will do something that forces you to waste it.
**The amount of money you lose is proportional to how badly you need whatever you were saving up for.
*[[Alien Terror|Terror sites]] always appear at night.
*If there is one tiny lake in the middle of 100 km of dry land, your [[Interceptor|Interceptors]] will inevitably shoot the UFO down over that exact spot.
*The chance that a crashed UFO's [[Elerium]] survived is proportional to how much you already have stockpiled.
*Landed UFO's will always take off before you can get to them.
**Unless they're filled with a species of alien you aren't equipped to deal with, in which case they will stick around forever.
*UFO's will always arrive while your [[Skyranger]] is refueling from a two day patrol.
*If you have forgotten to save the game for at least 3 missions, the game will crash.
**The game will always crash when it is the least convenient.
*If your craft is carrying no [[Electroflare|flares]] whatsoever, it will inevitably arrive five minutes after nightfall.
**If you've wasted half your [[Managing_the_Item_Limit|80-item limit]] on [[Electroflare|flares]] and incendiary ammo, you will arrive at high noon.
*[[Small Scout|Alien UFO scouts]] will always outrun your [[Interceptor|Interceptors]].

==[[Cityscape (Apocalypse)]]==
*If you're almost broke after buying a new flagship for your fleet, it will be destroyed in the next UFO incursion.
*The pride of your fleet is always stuck in alien dimension when you get attacked by a Mothership.
*UFOs carrying infiltrators always spawn at the gate you don't have covered.
*Griffon AFV is tough. The road under it is not. The tracks are just for show.
*There are only two types of vehicles that are always in abundance on the market. Blazer bikes and Stormdogs.
*While en route to a building, your craft will shoot at a Cult civilian car and demolish half of the city trying to hit it. However, the car will survive.
*Megapol is useless.
**Transtellar is annoying.
***Everyone else is both annoying and useless.
*Government's weekly paycheck,after paying the overhead, will buy you a Lawpistol clip. Maybe two.
*If your base is in a slum, a single stray shot from a light disruptor will destroy it all.
**If your base is in a warehouse, said stray shot will still hit the tile with your agents
*Hoverbike swarm is a good idea. Too bad they'll all get shot down anyway because of sheer dumb luck on the aliens' part.
*Research will always be completed right after when you needed it the most.
*After a firefight in the city, the only one to be blamed for the devastation will be you, even if it was an Overspawn that did it.
*The Overspawn will coincidentally be dropped right at your doorstep.
*The Overspawn will never, EVER get hurt from falling debris. Unless you drop the said debris and level half of the city with it.
*People Tubes can collapse from an angry glare or a single bullet.
*You're the only one who has a problem with the aliens. Every other corp has them on neutral.
*Subversion attacks WILL succeed, 100%.
*Your carefully built Dimension Probe will be welcomed by a volley of Heavy Disruptor Guns.At least it just needs to appear at the dimension just once to start the infiltration.
*Your very first invasion of the Alien Dimension will require an hour's savescumming to get it right without being reduced to scrap metal.
*You WILL forget to not to move the XCOM craft when you succeed in destroying an alien building, killing everyone in the process.

==[[Battlescape Overview (Apocalypse)|Battlescape (Apocalypse)]]==
*If your base is raided, there will be as few of your agents spawning as possible.
**Said agents will spawn as far away from the access lift as possible.
***Guess where the scientists will appear.
*If you're raiding a building, there will always be a retard with a heavy launcher.
**Despite your best efforts, he will manage to fire at least one missile.
***And he will do so even if you're breathing in his face.
****There is no way to avoid the missile and injuries or casualties from it.
*****Even if you somehow actually manage to avoid the missile, it'll bring down the building on you.
*That stupid grenade will go off at the cultist corpses and destroy all the goodies you came here for.
*If an agent in a squad gets attacked by a brainsucker, the rest of the squad won't hit it at point blank range.
**Or they'll fire a missile launcher. Guess the results.
*If you turn around the corner where you think that last alien is hiding, it'll turn out to be half a dozen of Anthropods. All armed to the teeth.
*Berserking agent will cause more chaos and destruction than all of your other agents put together. And it won't be directed at the enemy.
*If someone throws a Boomeroid at an agent, he'll try to run away from it.
**Because it will always turn out that you forgot to set him to aggressive mode.
*If you try to capture a Megaspawn, he'll die before you can stun it.
*You'd wish you gave that mind controlled agent a Toxigun instead of a Dimension Missile Launcher.
*You'll encounter cloaked and flying Skeletoids much more often than you'd like to.
*Good stuff always comes too late.
*Psi attacks are only successful when they're not necessary.
*Dynamic music always ignores what you're actually doing.
*That agent you sent to scout ahead will always be the one without a motion scanner.
*Every raid is a horrible decision between property damage and greed. Either way, you lose.
*The agent with a Mind Bender won't see the enemy until he's standing right next to it.

==[[Enemy_Unknown_(EU2012)|Strategic (Enemy Unknown)]]==
*When you need §§§ the most, the US and Russia (which you have satellite coverage over) will pull out of the XCOM project.
*Your satellites will always be available one day too late to prevent a country from withdrawing.
**Even if it shows up before "Council Report" on the event list.
*When you do have satellites available, you will never have enough Satellite Uplink/Nexus space for them.
*When you do have Satellite Uplink/Nexus, you will never have enough satellites.
*If you have one more satellite to go before getting a continent's bonus, that last country will pull out of the XCOM project.
**The one continent's bonus you don't want to get? The aliens will ignore that continent.
*You will always be at least §1 short of buying the next level of armor/weapons for all your troops.
*If a Colonel can be checked for having the Psi gift, he won't have it.
*If a Rookie can be checked for having the Psi gift, he will.
*Your interceptor will always lose contact 0.1 seconds before the enemy UFO is destroyed.
*Your interceptor will blow up one round of fire exchange after you press the Abort button.
*Your interceptor will miss every shot.
**The UFO will have perfect aim and land every single hit.
***After an interceptor lands a few hits on a Supply Barge it's shot down. So you sortie another interceptor and it's shot down/loses contact without hitting the damaged UFO even once.
*Just a bit more than a day from getting your Colonel out of the medbay? Time for a Terror Mission!
*Just a bit less than a day from getting your Colonel out of the medbay? Time for a Terror Mission!
**Fast forwarding will result in the Terror Mission succeeding for the aliens before you can react to your Colonel getting out of the medbay.
*Just a bit more than a day before your latest and greatest research completes? Time for a Terror Mission!
*Any other time it's inconvenient? Time for a Terror Mission!
**Followed by abductions less than 24 hours later.
***Followed by a council mission less than 24 hours later.
****Followed by a Battleship coming to destroy your satellite less than 24 hours later.
*Steam vents will be placed in inconvenient locations.
**Second floor steam vents will block your 2x2 Satellite Uplink block.
***The remaining steam vents will be on the 4th floor.
****In the corner.
*****Behind 3 solid squares of rock.
*Research or Foundry upgrades will be completed one day after a critical mission appears.
*The only way you can afford the next item or facility you need, is to sell materials on the grey market.
**Specifically, just enough to not have the materials left to build it.
*When the option to start researching the various Plasma Weapons becomes available, you will not have enough Weapon Fragments.
**Heavy Floaters will also start appearing on your next mission.
**You'll also be trying to research the Firestorm.

==[[Enemy_Unknown_(EU2012)|Tactical (Enemy Unknown)]]==
*If a soldier's chance to hit is <99%, he will miss.
*If a soldier's chance to hit is 100%, he won't do enough damage to kill the alien.
**If a soldier's chance to hit is 100%, the game will glitch and turn that full-face Alloy Cannon blast into a spray of harmless confetti.
*If a soldier's a heavy, he/she is going to have terrible accuracy.
**The range and blast radius of a heavy's rocket launcher will be a few tiles away from the nearest alien.
***Your heavy will never be in range to fire off a rocket.
*If a soldier's a sniper, he/she is going to have terrible accuracy FOR MOST OF THE GAME.
**A sniper will have squad sight on either a heavily wooded UFO crash/landing sight or a Terror Mission with one or two buildings that cover the entire map.
*If a soldier's an assault, he/she is going to have terrible accuracy EVEN AT POINT BLANK RANGE.
**If you activate Rapid Fire, both shots will miss a point blank Sectopod (Who has only eight health bars left) despite the second shot's hit chance being 85%.
*If a soldier's a support, he/she is going to have terrible accuracy WITH ANYTHING BUT A S.C.O.P.E. AND A LIGHT PLASMA RIFLE.
*If an alien's chance to hit is >1%, he will hit.
**If an alien's chance to hit is <1%, he will destroy your full cover.
*If an alien's mind control chance is >1%, it will work.
*When aiming at an Ethereal with the last shot of your turn, it will reflect it.
**''Especially'' if that soldier has only 1 HP.
*If the vehicle that your soldier is dashing to for cover can be set on fire, it will be.
**That is, if the soldier survives the alien Overwatch shot that will set the vehicle on fire.
***If so, then the vehicle's explosion will finish him/her off.
*Your soldier will always have the exact amount of health for a vehicle to blow him up.
*You will always reveal new enemies on your last move of the turn.
**Who will then take up flanking positions behind anyone who dashed.
*The more soldiers who perform an Overwatch reaction shot against a single alien, the more likely they will all miss.
**Soldiers who hit the alien will barely kill the alien.
***The alien, in turn, will kill your highest-ranking soldier.
****After killing the highest-ranking soldier, the other aliens will come in and mop everyone else up.
*When you have your whole squad on overwatch they will all shoot one floater.
**And then all die to his Chryssalid buddy.
*Your Revive spec medic will always be the one critically wounded.
*When trying to capture a commander with one stunner, he will be the one MCed,
*Aliens will always hit soldier's hunkering down behind high cover.
**The alien will do just enough damage to not kill him, but to cause him to panic.
***The panicking soldier will kill a soldier and start a panic chain.
*Smoke grenades will always improve alien accuracy.
**Mutons and Floaters will always throw grenades into smoke.
*If a soldier can panic, it will.
**Soldiers that panic will aim for the highest ranking officer he can see.
***Even behind high cover, on a higher elevation, and covered by a smoke grenade, a panicking rookie will still be able to kill the "protected" Colonel.
*Rockets will always fly off target.
**ESPECIALLY when you squad is surrounded by explosive vehicles and forklifts.
***At a gas station
****Then everything will explode
***** Then everything will explode and everyone will panic
******Even your SHIVs
*******And they will shoot your highest-ranked soldier
********And he will die
*********He will also have the psionic gift
**********He also has one of the highest starting and leveling Will/Aim scores you ever got, in any playthrough.
***********Had.
*Aliens will position themselves right outside the radius of a grenade throw.
**If a grenade can clip through and explode harmlessly under ground while you are trying to aim it, it will.
*When it is time to face Sectopods or Cyberdiscs, your HEAT ammo heavies will not be with you.
**When it is time to face Sectopods or Cyberdiscs, your HEAT ammo heavies will miss every shot.
*When it is time to face Muton Elites, your psionics will not be with you.
*Your soldiers are always one grid point away from moving to safely flank an alien.
*When a large UFO lands and you assault with your elite squad you will fight 3 Floaters, 3 Sectoids and a Sectoid Commander.
*When a moderate alien abduction comes up and you assault with a squad comprised of your Col. Sniper, squaddies, and rookies for training purposes, you will fight 9 Mutons (who will each throw their grenades asap), a Cyberdisc, and 2 Drones you just can't seem to hit.
*Even when you use the rookie to scout ahead, he will always stumble on no less than every enemy on the map on a single turn, who will then, with most of the laws stated above, wipe your elite squad before you can say Jenkins.
*You decide to research offensive tech first and the Arc Thrower later only to find that Sectoids have been removed from the alien roster. But after killing 7 Mutons on a map you decide to zap the last two for their weapons only to have the last group be a trio of Sectoids.
*The Overseer will only appear when you have no Firestorms.
**When you build your firestorm with dodge matrix, fusion lance, and uplink targeting, the Overseer will appear in the continent your new Firestorm is NOT stationed in
*Your MCed alien will always run out of usable turns before they can bust the asses off of some of their little alien friends.
**ALWAYS
***Especially on the final mission of the entire game.
*MCed aliens will always activate no less than two squads that were just behind them.
*Your sniper with Snap Shot will never be useful for anything, ever.
*Your sniper with Squadsight will never be in a good position.
*The alien with a grenade will go first. He will toss the grenade , without moving, negating any troopers on Overwatch, and removing cover from you forward trooper.
**Next alien will kill your now-exposed trooper.
***You will then have to wait 2-3 minutes for the other 9 or so Aliens to take their turn and batter your remaining troops.
****Also, it's been 5 rounds since you last saved.
*The range for a soldier flying with Archangel Armor will always be "One less than it takes to get into cover, or out of range."
*On a Battleship raid, there will always be one alien that runs away, forcing you to have to chase them down.
**Backwards.
*The game has no problem sending and activating every alien squad in an Abductor or Supply Barge at you in 1 turn.
**If not, that's because the high-level alien squad somehow noticed you from the other side of the ship.
*The council mission reward will always be either what you don't need, or not enough of what you do.
*When fighting Thin Men, you will always activate 2 squads at a time.
*When fighting Floaters, they will always Launch to flank just tiles away from your Sniper. No soldier will be close enough to help her.
*When fighting Mutons, you will activate a squad ''after'' you have finished moving at least two soldiers. Who you placed right next to each other.
**If you think two soldiers were just far enough apart to not both be hit by 1 grenade: turns out they weren't.
***Both of their cover is now gone, fyi.
*When fighting Chryssalids, they will always be at least close enough to hit your soldiers from a diagonal tile, if not closer.
*When fighting Cyberdiscs, when they are open, your hardest-hitting soldier will not be able to attack them.
**Because it opened up to kill said soldier in the previous turn.
*When fighting Sectopods, the answer to "Which soldier are they going to fire at?" The answer is always "the one taking cover behind something explosive."
**On the rare chance that it's Chest Cannon misses, the shot will still hit something explosive.
***Specifically, something that another soldier is taking cover behind.
****Whom it will then fire upon.
*When fighting a Sectopod, after your two troops have been battered by both Chest Cannon blasts despite being behind full cover and in the middle of a smoke grenade cloud, one moves and triggers a Reaction Shot.
*When fighting an Ethereal, it will either:
**Be in a different room than usual.
**Become activated when you pass within 10 feet of the door.
**Become activated when your last turn is to MC an Elite Muton or Heavy Floater that would be flanking it's buddies.
***Which it will then immediately kill.
*Your first shot with a shiny new weapon will miss.
*Despite kickstands being visible on several weapons, your soldiers do not seem to recognise their existence for steadying and making more accurate shots.
*Have Frag Grenades? Any aliens in range will have four HP left.
**Alien Grenades or Mind Fray? Six.
***And it will be your only viable action: any attempts at firing a gun will miss.
*Your Support with Sprint and a Skeleton Suit or Ghost Armor will always be one movement short of saving a civilian.
*Your soldier will make a crazy-ass, low-percentage, gun-pointing-the-wrong-way-for-some-reason Overwatch shot with your currently-most powerful weapon.... on a wounded Sectoid.

[[Category:Enemy Unknown/UFO Defense]]
[[Category:TFTD]]
[[Category: Apocalypse]]
[[Category: Enemy Unknown (2012)]]

Murphy's Laws (X-COM)

2013-06-18T20:30:37Z

Macdjord: Reworked both Enemy Unknown (1994) sections to sound more like the original Murphey's Laws of Combat.

==[[Battlescape|Battlescape (UFO Defense)]]==
===[[Soldiers]]===
*If a soldier can miss, he will.
*If a soldier can panic, he will.
**If he is holding a primed [[Proximity Grenade]], he will drop it and start running.
**If he is holding any other primed explosive, he will drop it and stay right there.
**If he is holding something else, he will drop it and run right next to an alien.
*The probability of a soldier getting MCed is proportional to the lethality of the weapons he is carrying.
*The probability of a soldier going berserk is proportional to the number of friendly units he can hit from where he's standing.
*Your troops invariably display better accuracy and reactions when mind controlled than they do under your own orders.
**The opposite is true when you mind control an alien.
*The soldier you gave your shiny new heavy weapon to will turn out to have shitty Psi Strength and/or Morale. You will discover this the hard way.
*If a soldier has a [[Rocket Launcher]], he will get MCed while still in the craft.
*Your first unit out is always shot down.
**Your first unit out is always your commander.
*A wounded soldier will always die just before you find the last alien.
*As soon as you get better armor, the aliens get better weapons.
*[[Electroflare|Flares]] will always land where they cannot be picked up.
*If your base is attacked, you will always get [[Electroflare|flares]] instead of [[Heavy Plasma|Heavy Plasmas]].
*You will always end up short 1 TU for the action you wanted to do.
*If there is a single square where an alien grenade can hit all your soldiers at once, that is the square it will land in.
*The soldiers with the worst stats will always be the first to get promoted.
**When you build the [[Psi Lab]], you will always discover that your highly-trained officers are psi weaklings.
*On [[Ethereal]] [[Terror_Mission|Terror Missions]], you will always get as many [[Sectopod|Sectopods]] as possible.
*When you have finally perfected the art of UFO assaults - [[Initial_Deployment|safe initial deployment]], proper [[Scouting|scout]] and [[Sweeping_the_Battlescape|sweep]] tactics, [[UFO_Ground_Assault#Breaching_UFOs|correct breaching methods]] - that will be the mission an enemy commander shows up with a [[Blaster_Launcher|Blaster Launcher]]

===[[Civilian|Civilians]]===
*If a civilian sees a fire, he will run into it.
*If a civilian sees an alien, he will move right next to it.
*If a civilian can block your line of fire on an alien, he will do so.
*Civilians are attracted to armed proximity grenades.
*Civilians inevitably block the doorway you need to use right before you get there.
*If a civilian is near an alien, any attempt to save him by shooting the alien will hit the civilian instead.

===[[Alien Life Forms|Aliens]]===
*If an alien can hit, it will.
*If an alien tries to MC you, it will always succeed.
*Alien commanders will always kill themselves (with their [[Blaster_Launcher|Blaster Launchers]]) when you're on track to capture them .
*If there are [[Chryssalid|Chryssalids]], you will get at least one zombified soldier.
**You never want to know the answer to "Why did the Chryssalid cross the road?".
*If a dieing [[Cyberdisc]] can explode on one of your men, it will.
*Unconscious aliens with melee attacks will wake up when you least expect them to.
*If you opened a door and turned left, the aliens are all on the right.
*Aliens are smarter than they look.

==[[Geoscape|Geoscape (UFO Defense)]]==
*When you need money the most, your funders will sign treaties with the aliens.
**The first country to drop funding is always the one that gave the most money.
*As soon as you get a new base built, it will be attacked.
**As soon as you get a new base fully equipped and operational, UFO activity in that area will drop to zero.
*If your fully developed base with 12 [[Missile_Defences|Missile Defences]] is successfully weathering a [[Alien_Retaliation|retaliation mission]] every couple days, the 1-in-30 battleship that makes it through will inevitably do so when all your experienced soldiers are out on missions.
*The more money you've saved, the higher the chance the aliens will do something that forces you to waste it.
**The amount of money you lose is proportional to how badly you need whatever you were saving up for.
*[[Alien Terror|Terror sites]] always appear at night.
*If there is one tiny lake in the middle of 100 km of dry land, your [[Interceptor|Interceptors]] will inevitably shoot the UFO down over that exact spot.
*The chance that a crashed UFO's [[Elerium]] survived is inversely proportional to how badly you need some.
*Landed UFO's will always take off before you can get to them.
**Unless they're filled with the one species of alien you aren't equipped to deal with, in which case they will stick around forever.
*UFO's will always arrive while your [[Skyranger]] is refueling from a two day patrol.
*If you have forgotten to save the game for at least 3 missions, the game will crash.
**The game will always crash when it is the least convenient.
*If your craft is carrying no [[Electroflare|flares]] whatsoever, it will inevitably arrive five minutes after nightfall.
**If you've wasted half your [[Managing_the_Item_Limit|80-item limit]] on [[Electroflare|flares]] and incendiary ammo, you will arrive at high noon.
*[[Small Scout|Alien UFO scouts]] will always outrun your [[Interceptor|Interceptors]].

==[[Cityscape (Apocalypse)]]==
*If you're almost broke after buying a new flagship for your fleet, it will be destroyed in the next UFO incursion.
*The pride of your fleet is always stuck in alien dimension when you get attacked by a Mothership.
*UFOs carrying infiltrators always spawn at the gate you don't have covered.
*Griffon AFV is tough. The road under it is not. The tracks are just for show.
*There are only two types of vehicles that are always in abundance on the market. Blazer bikes and Stormdogs.
*While en route to a building, your craft will shoot at a Cult civilian car and demolish half of the city trying to hit it. However, the car will survive.
*Megapol is useless.
**Transtellar is annoying.
***Everyone else is both annoying and useless.
*Government's weekly paycheck,after paying the overhead, will buy you a Lawpistol clip. Maybe two.
*If your base is in a slum, a single stray shot from a light disruptor will destroy it all.
**If your base is in a warehouse, said stray shot will still hit the tile with your agents
*Hoverbike swarm is a good idea. Too bad they'll all get shot down anyway because of sheer dumb luck on the aliens' part.
*Research will always be completed right after when you needed it the most.
*After a firefight in the city, the only one to be blamed for the devastation will be you, even if it was an Overspawn that did it.
*The Overspawn will coincidentally be dropped right at your doorstep.
*The Overspawn will never, EVER get hurt from falling debris. Unless you drop the said debris and level half of the city with it.
*People Tubes can collapse from an angry glare or a single bullet.
*You're the only one who has a problem with the aliens. Every other corp has them on neutral.
*Subversion attacks WILL succeed, 100%.
*Your carefully built Dimension Probe will be welcomed by a volley of Heavy Disruptor Guns.At least it just needs to appear at the dimension just once to start the infiltration.
*Your very first invasion of the Alien Dimension will require an hour's savescumming to get it right without being reduced to scrap metal.
*You WILL forget to not to move the XCOM craft when you succeed in destroying an alien building, killing everyone in the process.

==[[Battlescape Overview (Apocalypse)|Battlescape (Apocalypse)]]==
*If your base is raided, there will be as few of your agents spawning as possible.
**Said agents will spawn as far away from the access lift as possible.
***Guess where the scientists will appear.
*If you're raiding a building, there will always be a retard with a heavy launcher.
**Despite your best efforts, he will manage to fire at least one missile.
***And he will do so even if you're breathing in his face.
****There is no way to avoid the missile and injuries or casualties from it.
*****Even if you somehow actually manage to avoid the missile, it'll bring down the building on you.
*That stupid grenade will go off at the cultist corpses and destroy all the goodies you came here for.
*If an agent in a squad gets attacked by a brainsucker, the rest of the squad won't hit it at point blank range.
**Or they'll fire a missile launcher. Guess the results.
*If you turn around the corner where you think that last alien is hiding, it'll turn out to be half a dozen of Anthropods. All armed to the teeth.
*Berserking agent will cause more chaos and destruction than all of your other agents put together. And it won't be directed at the enemy.
*If someone throws a Boomeroid at an agent, he'll try to run away from it.
**Because it will always turn out that you forgot to set him to aggressive mode.
*If you try to capture a Megaspawn, he'll die before you can stun it.
*You'd wish you gave that mind controlled agent a Toxigun instead of a Dimension Missile Launcher.
*You'll encounter cloaked and flying Skeletoids much more often than you'd like to.
*Good stuff always comes too late.
*Psi attacks are only successful when they're not necessary.
*Dynamic music always ignores what you're actually doing.
*That agent you sent to scout ahead will always be the one without a motion scanner.
*Every raid is a horrible decision between property damage and greed. Either way, you lose.
*The agent with a Mind Bender won't see the enemy until he's standing right next to it.

==[[Enemy_Unknown_(EU2012)|Strategic (Enemy Unknown)]]==
*When you need §§§ the most, the US and Russia (which you have satellite coverage over) will pull out of the XCOM project.
*Your satellites will always be available one day too late to prevent a country from withdrawing.
**Even if it shows up before "Council Report" on the event list.
*When you do have satellites available, you will never have enough Satellite Uplink/Nexus space for them.
*When you do have Satellite Uplink/Nexus, you will never have enough satellites.
*If you have one more satellite to go before getting a continent's bonus, that last country will pull out of the XCOM project.
**The one continent's bonus you don't want to get? The aliens will ignore that continent.
*You will always be at least §1 short of buying the next level of armor/weapons for all your troops.
*If a Colonel can be checked for having the Psi gift, he won't have it.
*If a Rookie can be checked for having the Psi gift, he will.
*Your interceptor will always lose contact 0.1 seconds before the enemy UFO is destroyed.
*Your interceptor will blow up one round of fire exchange after you press the Abort button.
*Your interceptor will miss every shot.
**The UFO will have perfect aim and land every single hit.
***After an interceptor lands a few hits on a Supply Barge it's shot down. So you sortie another interceptor and it's shot down/loses contact without hitting the damaged UFO even once.
*Just a bit more than a day from getting your Colonel out of the medbay? Time for a Terror Mission!
*Just a bit less than a day from getting your Colonel out of the medbay? Time for a Terror Mission!
**Fast forwarding will result in the Terror Mission succeeding for the aliens before you can react to your Colonel getting out of the medbay.
*Just a bit more than a day before your latest and greatest research completes? Time for a Terror Mission!
*Any other time it's inconvenient? Time for a Terror Mission!
**Followed by abductions less than 24 hours later.
***Followed by a council mission less than 24 hours later.
****Followed by a Battleship coming to destroy your satellite less than 24 hours later.
*Steam vents will be placed in inconvenient locations.
**Second floor steam vents will block your 2x2 Satellite Uplink block.
***The remaining steam vents will be on the 4th floor.
****In the corner.
*****Behind 3 solid squares of rock.
*Research or Foundry upgrades will be completed one day after a critical mission appears.
*The only way you can afford the next item or facility you need, is to sell materials on the grey market.
**Specifically, just enough to not have the materials left to build it.
*When the option to start researching the various Plasma Weapons becomes available, you will not have enough Weapon Fragments.
**Heavy Floaters will also start appearing on your next mission.
**You'll also be trying to research the Firestorm.

==[[Enemy_Unknown_(EU2012)|Tactical (Enemy Unknown)]]==
*If a soldier's chance to hit is <99%, he will miss.
*If a soldier's chance to hit is 100%, he won't do enough damage to kill the alien.
**If a soldier's chance to hit is 100%, the game will glitch and turn that full-face Alloy Cannon blast into a spray of harmless confetti.
*If a soldier's a heavy, he/she is going to have terrible accuracy.
**The range and blast radius of a heavy's rocket launcher will be a few tiles away from the nearest alien.
***Your heavy will never be in range to fire off a rocket.
*If a soldier's a sniper, he/she is going to have terrible accuracy FOR MOST OF THE GAME.
**A sniper will have squad sight on either a heavily wooded UFO crash/landing sight or a Terror Mission with one or two buildings that cover the entire map.
*If a soldier's an assault, he/she is going to have terrible accuracy EVEN AT POINT BLANK RANGE.
**If you activate Rapid Fire, both shots will miss a point blank Sectopod (Who has only eight health bars left) despite the second shot's hit chance being 85%.
*If a soldier's a support, he/she is going to have terrible accuracy WITH ANYTHING BUT A S.C.O.P.E. AND A LIGHT PLASMA RIFLE.
*If an alien's chance to hit is >1%, he will hit.
**If an alien's chance to hit is <1%, he will destroy your full cover.
*If an alien's mind control chance is >1%, it will work.
*When aiming at an Ethereal with the last shot of your turn, it will reflect it.
**''Especially'' if that soldier has only 1 HP.
*If the vehicle that your soldier is dashing to for cover can be set on fire, it will be.
**That is, if the soldier survives the alien Overwatch shot that will set the vehicle on fire.
***If so, then the vehicle's explosion will finish him/her off.
*Your soldier will always have the exact amount of health for a vehicle to blow him up.
*You will always reveal new enemies on your last move of the turn.
**Who will then take up flanking positions behind anyone who dashed.
*The more soldiers who perform an Overwatch reaction shot against a single alien, the more likely they will all miss.
**Soldiers who hit the alien will barely kill the alien.
***The alien, in turn, will kill your highest-ranking soldier.
****After killing the highest-ranking soldier, the other aliens will come in and mop everyone else up.
*When you have your whole squad on overwatch they will all shoot one floater.
**And then all die to his Chryssalid buddy.
*Your Revive spec medic will always be the one critically wounded.
*When trying to capture a commander with one stunner, he will be the one MCed,
*Aliens will always hit soldier's hunkering down behind high cover.
**The alien will do just enough damage to not kill him, but to cause him to panic.
***The panicking soldier will kill a soldier and start a panic chain.
*Smoke grenades will always improve alien accuracy.
**Mutons and Floaters will always through grenades into smoke.
*If a soldier can panic, it will.
**Soldiers that panic will aim for the highest ranking officer he can see.
***Even behind high cover, on a higher elevation, and covered by a smoke grenade, a panicking rookie will still be able to kill the "protected" Colonel.
*Rockets will always fly off target.
**ESPECIALLY when you squad is surrounded by explosive vehicles and forklifts.
***At a gas station
****Then everything will explode
***** Then everything will explode and everyone will panic
******Even your SHIVs
*******And they will shoot your highest-ranked soldier
********And he will die
*********He will also have the psionic gift
**********He also has one of the highest starting and leveling Will/Aim scores you ever got, in any playthrough.
***********Had.
*Aliens will position themselves right outside the radius of a grenade throw.
**If a grenade can clip through and explode harmlessly under ground while you are trying to aim it, it will.
*When it is time to face Sectopods or Cyberdiscs, your HEAT ammo heavies will not be with you.
**When it is time to face Sectopods or Cyberdiscs, your HEAT ammo heavies will miss every shot.
*When it is time to face Muton Elites, your psionics will not be with you.
*Your soldiers are always one grid point away from moving to safely flank an alien.
*When a large UFO lands and you assault with your elite squad you will fight 3 Floaters, 3 Sectoids and a Sectoid Commander.
*When a moderate alien abduction comes up and you assault with a squad comprised of your Col. Sniper, squaddies, and rookies for training purposes, you will fight 9 Mutons (who will each throw their grenades asap), a Cyberdisc, and 2 Drones you just can't seem to hit.
*Even when you use the rookie to scout ahead, he will always stumble on no less than every enemy on the map on a single turn, who will then, with most of the laws stated above, wipe your elite squad before you can say Jenkins.
*You decide to research offensive tech first and the Arc Thrower later only to find that Sectoids have been removed from the alien roster. But after killing 7 Mutons on a map you decide to zap the last two for their weapons only to have the last group be a trio of Sectoids.
*The Overseer will only appear when you have no Firestorms.
**When you build your firestorm with dodge matrix, fusion lance, and uplink targeting, the Overseer will appear in the continent your new Firestorm is NOT stationed in
*Your MCed alien will always run out of usable turns before they can bust the asses off of some of their little alien friends.
**ALWAYS
***Especially on the final mission of the entire game.
*MCed aliens will always activate no less than two squads that were just behind them.
*Your sniper with Snap Shot will never be useful for anything, ever.
*Your sniper with Squadsight will never be in a good position.
*The alien with a grenade will go first. He will toss the grenade , without moving, negating any troopers on Overwatch, and removing cover from you forward trooper.
**Next alien will kill your now-exposed trooper.
***You will then have to wait 2-3 minutes for the other 9 or so Aliens to take their turn and batter your remaining troops.
****Also, it's been 5 rounds since you last saved.
*The range for a soldier flying with Archangel Armor will always be "One less than it takes to get into cover, or out of range."
*On a Battleship raid, there will always be one alien that runs away, forcing you to have to chase them down.
**Backwards.
*The game has no problem sending and activating every alien squad in an Abductor or Supply Barge at you in 1 turn.
**If not, that's because the high-level alien squad somehow noticed you from the other side of the ship.
*The council mission reward will always be either what you don't need, or not enough of what you do.
*When fighting Thin Men, you will always activate 2 squads at a time.
*When fighting Floaters, they will always Launch to flank just tiles away from your Sniper. No soldier will be close enough to help her.
*When fighting Mutons, you will activate a squad ''after'' you have finished moving at least two soldiers. Who you placed right next to each other.
**If you think two soldiers were just far enough apart to not both be hit by 1 grenade: turns out they weren't.
***Both of their cover is now gone, fyi.
*When fighting Chryssalids, they will always be at least close enough to hit your soldiers from a diagonal tile, if not closer.
*When fighting Cyberdiscs, when they are open, your hardest-hitting soldier will not be able to attack them.
**Because it opened up to kill said soldier in the previous turn.
*When fighting Sectopods, the answer to "Which soldier are they going to fire at?" The answer is always "the one taking cover behind something explosive."
**On the rare chance that it's Chest Cannon misses, the shot will still hit something explosive.
***Specifically, something that another soldier is taking cover behind.
****Whom it will then fire upon.
*When fighting a Sectopod, after your two troops have been battered by both Chest Cannon blasts despite being behind full cover and in the middle of a smoke grenade cloud, one moves and triggers a Reaction Shot.
*When fighting an Ethereal, it will either:
**Be in a different room than usual.
**Become activated when you pass within 10 feet of the door.
**Become activated when your last turn is to MC an Elite Muton or Heavy Floater that would be flanking it's buddies.
***Which it will then immediately kill.
*Your first shot with a shiny new weapon will miss.
*Despite kickstands being visible on several weapons, your soldiers do not seem to recognise their existence for steadying and making more accurate shots.
*Have Frag Grenades? Any aliens in range will have four HP left.
**Alien Grenades or Mind Fray? Six.
***And it will be your only viable action: any attempts at firing a gun will miss.
*Your Support with Sprint and a Skeleton Suit or Ghost Armor will always be one movement short of saving a civilian.

[[Category:Enemy Unknown/UFO Defense]]
[[Category:TFTD]]
[[Category: Apocalypse]]
[[Category: Enemy Unknown (2012)]]